Monday, May 18, 2009

Let's hear it for my good friend, J.T.

That's my friend and fellow Samsonian, James "J.T. " Thomas, who laid a country-boy stomping on the "Survivor" field to win the $1,000,000 prize for being the sole survivor, as well as the $100,000 prize for being so doggone lovable. Man, when I think back on all the good times J.T. and I have had, fishing and hunting and just sitting around the campfire swapping stories, I can't help but mist up. I get especially misty when I remember how, when I'd advise J.T. to go on a reality show and win a million dollars with his charm and smarts, he'd say, "One of these days, Jim, I'm going to do that. I'm going to win a million dollars, and when I do, I'm going to share it with you, 50-50, because of your inspiration. You are the wind beneath my wings, Jim, and you know that. Shoot, I only go by J.T. because it sounds like J.D., in honor of you."

Okay, okay, that never happened. Truth be told, although I'm from the same area as J.T., and keep in mind that Samson only has about 2000 residents, I've never met him or heard of him until a cousin told me that a Samsonian was going to be on the show. (Reminds me of the joke I heard a long-forgotten comedian tell back in the eighties. He was from Canada, and whenever he'd tell anybody that, they'd go, "You're from Canada? Do you know Bob?")

But I figure my story is about as believable, and as grounded in truth, as plenty of the stories being told about J.T. now. The young man was already as likeable as Mike Rowe, and that was before he snagged $1.1 million, minus the inevitable monstrous whack the IRS will take out of those winnings. It's like the few zillion people who clearly remembered being present at Madison Square Garden when Wilt Chamberlain scored an NBA record 100 points, even if that game was actually played in Hershey, Pennsylvania. Prepare for a huge influx of new close friends, J.T.

Other than his winning the million plus, the best thing about last night's show was when Jeff Probst asked J.T. what he was going to do with the money, and he replied, "Hopefully, use it to make more money." This is one 24-year-old with his mind on the big picture. I hope I never read a report about how he's become the darling of the NYC club scene, or has begun dating a Kardashian. (I actually hope to never read a report of anybody dating a Kardashian.)

Throughout this season, I watched J.T. act more smoothly than iced Teflon. He buddied up to the right people, kept his mouth shut better than any contestant ever, and, no doubt, conned a few people with that good ol' boy persona. I don't mean that he's actually not nice. From what I've heard, he's supremely likable in real life. What I mean is that there were most likely some people who heard J.T. open his mouth, heard that slow-issuing Southern drawl, and figured there was a slow wit pushing out those syllables. During the final Tribal Council (and yes, I do feel pretty stupid typing that phrase), J.T. couldn't have been more down-home, "Aw, shucks" in his manner, while second-place Stephen Fishbach came off as a slick, fast-talking New Yorker. No wonder J.T. stomped a mudhole in Stephen, vote-wise, winning all the jury's votes (feel stupid typing that, too) in a 7-0 blowout. According to his bio, Fishbach is a corporate consultant, and he's only 29. I'm not saying that maybe he's gotten through a lot with some bovine feces skills, but...wait. That's exactly what I'm saying. And I think when the pressure's on, that bovine feces was exposed for what they are. It's like being friends with a car salesman. He might be a nice guy, but you still know that when the going gets tough, he's gonna make with the weasel words.

So now, I have no reality show vice. (Or reality show vise, either, ever since I broke my "The Amazing Race" bench vise cranking on that wagon wheel I never finished.) At least, I don't have a vice until the fall, when "Survivor: Samoa" premieres. With that title, I assume at least a few of the challenges will involve eating those killer Girl Scout cookies (if so, I would CRUSH my fellow competitors), or maybe pronouncing some of the vowel-heavy native names. I'll be counting the days.

3 comments:

  1. My favorite was when he admitted he was faking his "hurt" at Stephen's betrayal. JT done us proud.

    http://wadeonbirmingham.com/2009/05/17/survivor-tocantins-finale-live-blog-episode-14-recap-video/

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  2. I was going to date a Kardashian, but now decline in deference to your sensibilities.

    As to your "friend," $1 million disappears in direct proportion to the number of people who know you have it. You are screwed; I hope you at least manage to get laid offa it before it's gone . . .

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  3. That was hilarious, Wade. Dude needs an Oscar, because he completely nailed the "Wounded friend" act.

    And trust me, Estragon. You're better off without any Kardashian contact. I make it a rule never to have anything to do with skanks whose last name sounds like a race Kirk would aim photon torpedoes at.

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