Remember that time he was funny? Me neither

Evidently, Sacha Baron Cohen/Borat/Bruno has returned to my home state to film more of his hilarious antics. You know, those gut-busting creative works of delicate genius where he takes advantage of the kindness of strangers by making them as uncomfortable as possible and filming it? And everybody laughs and says that if you don't laugh, then it means that you don't have a sense of humor, when in fact it's precisely a sense of humor that prevents your laughing, because this is nothing resembling humor?

Look, I'm a big boy. I can take hits on Alabama. That's both the state and the state university, which I attended. Want to make fun of our football obsession? Bring it on. We're psycho for it. Slag on us for our rural areas? Wait for me, and I'll take you coon-hunting. Think it's hilarious that the Crimson Tide could be in trouble with the NCAA AGAIN? Hit me. I'm braced.

But what Cohen does isn't making fun of Alabama, it's making fun of innocent people. And not ripe targets for satire, either, even though the state doesn't lack for targets. Birmingham's mayor wants to build a ginormous sports dome, an aquarium that's as big as the world's biggest in Atlanta, and bring the Olympics to the city in 2020, all while the county is circling the drain in terms of bankruptcy and he's under indictment for alleged corruption. That's a whole Michael Moore pseodu-documentary right there, and I'll volunteer to pull cables while somebody films it.

Of course, really good satire requires a deft touch and intelligence, and Cohen--why do I need to know this clown's middle name?--has exhibited neither. His "humor" consists of pretending to be a homosexual, or a foreigner, or a foreign homosexual, then going to functions and being foreign or homosexual. In other words, he makes a "Gilligan's Island" script look as original as a previously undiscovered Mark Twain novel.

And he's hung around with Will Ferrell too long, too, because he's even recycling title themes. He's following up his "Borat: Cultural Leanings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan" with "Bruno: Delicious Journeys Through America for the Purpose of Making Heterosexual Males Visibly Uncomfortable in the Presence of a Gay Foreigner in a Mesh T-Shirt." Actually, that's not fair to Will Ferrell, who at least pretends to be playing a different overgrown kid character in his movies. Adam Sandler even tried to do drama, for crying out loud. (Completely true fact: Just as I typed that, Dan Baird and the Yayhoos' "For Cryin' Out Loud" began playing on my computer. Coincidence? Yeah, pretty much, but it's still interesting. To me, at least.) And Johnny Knoxville has the common decency to literally smash his or his minions' gonads, not figuratively do it to strangers. That's right, people, I just made a comparison between Johnny Knoxville and Cohen, and Cohen lost.

Of course, the movie will make multiple millions, and the cognoscenti will say he's a genius, and I'll shake my head a few more times in disgust. Then I'll pull out some of my "Andy Griffith Show" DVDs so I can show Jacob that it is possible to write humor, not just mine fake humor out of others' misfortunes.

On a lighter note, Clarence "Frogman" Henry turns 72 today. Here's his "Ain't Got No Home," which I can never hear often enough. And yes, I'm aware that you'll be singing "Woo, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, oo-ooh" all day. Yer welcome.