Now, where was I?

Oh yeah. Now I remember. I was in front of the computer, trying to be coherent. It's not a full-blown tooth-launching adventure we're on, but it's close. Jacob is starting to gnaw on things like his toes (I'm dead serious), and he's started drooling like I do when there are peach gummy slices in the house. Plus, he's getting irritable at odd occasions, and this is usually a supremely happy boy. So nights might be getting long for us again.

But teething doesn't preclude him from going out on the back slab and reveling in the outsideness. That boy loves him some fresh air and sunshine.

Onward.

Getting back to yesterday's post about comedians, commenter Apollo pointed out in the comments that my issue with female comedians might just be a function of there not being as many females in the funny bidness, and I think he's right. (Strange. You wouldn't think somebody involved in putting rockets in space would be smarter than a blogger like I are.) I don't like male comics whose only hook is vulgarity, either. The next point in my scintillating series is

4. We all know that black folks and white folks are different. We know that women are different from men. Really. We know that. Completely. We've been told that, given examples of that, even laughed at those facts in the past, but we're over it now. Come up with something new.

5. Imitations have their place in comedy, but Arnold Schwarzenegger imitations don't. Ever. He's the easiest person to imitate in the history of the world. My grandmother can imitate him, and she's been dead for more than 20 years.

6. No airline jokes. They've been done. Every single one of them has been done. I don't care if you board a plane tomorrow and find Judge Crater conversing with Amy Winehouse, that joke has already been told, and better, than you can do it.

7. You're not Jerry Seinfeld, so stop imitating him. (Unless you're literally imitating him, in which case I, as Illustrious Comedy Potentate, will evaluate each instance as the need arises.) What is the deal with comics who sound like Seinfeld? I mean, it's not like you can't observe people without sounding like Jerry. He didn't invent observational humor. Pretty much all humor has an element of observation in it, so people have been doing it for years. Seinfeld just came up with his own style. You do the same.

8. In a sitcom, the less jokes, the better. Lemme explain. Most modern sitcoms have a rhythm. It's line, line, punchline. Lather, rinse, repeat for 22 minutes. And that's okay, but it's not the best approach. I remember reading that Andy Griffith told the writers for "The Andy Griffith Show" that he didn't want them to write a single joke. He wanted the humor to arise from the situation. Go back through those old TAGS episodes (only the black-and-white ones; I consider the color episodes apostate, and not worthy of inclusion in the canon. Seriously, Warren and Emmitt?) and notice how there's precious little, if any, straightforward, punchline humor. Yet they made Barney's delivery of lines like, "Boy, giraffes are selfish" one of the funniest things I've ever heard.

I'm not trying to make TAGS out to be Shakespeare. It had its moments of easy humor, such as Barney's mugging and hair-mussing while he tried to remember the preamble to the Constitution. (He didn't have the benefit of "Schoolhouse Rock" to etch it in his mind musically.) And there was the (expertly) over-the-top presence of Howard Morris as Ernest T. Bass, as well as Hal Smith's "lovable alcoholic" portrayal of Otis. The latter is the only part of that show that hasn't aged well for me. But for the most part, the show is a model of comedy-writing.

Tomorrow, the final installment of my comedy blogging. Honestly, I didn't start out to post series of posts on one subject, but I goes where the feeling takes me, I reckon. See you Friday.

As always, please check out Retrosnark, follow my Tweets if you'd like, tell a friend or 12 about my places, become a fan on Facebook, and, if the mood strikes you, drop a penny or two in the tip jar up there at top left. I'd appreciate all five.